abusive people dehumanize the folks that they abuse, so they can allow themselves to feel justified in their behavior towards their vicitms. also true of bigots. same deal. so fucked up, they classify some people as “other”, as somehow “less than” themselves, so they can justify their hatred.
there are some folks who see themselves as inherently good, just, caring, — self-aware even — who hurt others on purpose and justify it for themselves in any number of ways. “That person did “X” in situation “Y” and it made me uncomfortable, therefore I am justified in causing them pain. It’s a lie. A lie they tell themselves so they can live with the fact that they purposefully hurt another human. They can’t actually think about it because that would mean that they have to accept their own flawed nature. They walk around in the mistaken belief that they would never hurt another human on purpose. Self aware? Not so much. They’re just as fucked up as any other abusive asshole, maybe moreso, ’cause the denial is so deep.